


Crying With The Wolves

by Lady_Iwaizumi



Series: Haikyuu Song Fics galore [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Addict AU, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Basketball, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Christmas, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Florists, Fluff and Angst, Greenhouse, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Jungles, Loud Sex, M/M, Makeup Sex, Men Crying, Mental Breakdown, Mutual Pining, Olympics, Overdosing, Past Drug Addiction, Poetry, Pro Basketball Player Kuroo, Reconciliation, Running Away, Social Media, Song fic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Thailand, Wolves, i decided to add that, kuroo finds a puppy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 06:07:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13405044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Iwaizumi/pseuds/Lady_Iwaizumi
Summary: One torn ACL and an abusive domestic incident later, Kuroo Tetsurou was trapped inside an endless void of drugs, alcohol, and a hazy world in which he existed completely alone.OR Kuroo travels to a different country with the intent to die, only to find a wolf pup, an abandoned flower shop, and little pieces of his new self scattered around the jungle; just like the jungle he once roamed to get to Terushima, the love of his life.





	Crying With The Wolves

**Author's Note:**

> Finally got this fic off my chest and out of my brain before I went crazy with Kuroo's thoughts. I'm really starting to love this ship, which is kinda weird cuz in the next long fic Terushima is Kuroo's son....!!!  
> **P.S. There aren't actually wolves in Thailand...but there is a wild dog breed that roams the wilderness. Also, don't you just love my new profile pic?? I went from cute pouty Oikawa to chubby baby Bokuto...:)
> 
> I should get paid for writing song fics. And hey, who knew I was a pretty (awful) smut writer?

_In your eyes, there's a heavy blue_

_One to love and one to lose_

_Sweet divide, a heavy truth_

_Water or wine, don't make me choose_

_I wanna feel the way that we did that summer night (night)_

_Drunk on a feeling, alone with the stars in the sky_

 

Kuroo never saw it coming.

 

At twenty-two years old, he was the captain of the Japanese Basketball Olympic team, the lead rebounder, the inspirational spirit of the team; they were picked to give the U.S.A team a run for their money, to bring their country home a gold medal for the first time in decades. Life was going exceptionally well, all thanks to his hard-work and help from his team. Kuroo loved his teammates, loved the strength they gave each other, loved the support from their fans world-wide…

And he also loved Terushima.

God, did he love Terushima.

Tetsurou and Yuuji had been dating long before Kuroo became a professional basketball player; while the golden-blonde haired punk thought his boyfriend wasn’t really cut out for the professional lifestyle, he never left his side in all their five-years together. They were certainly an odd couple, one common outsiders wouldn't think would mix well, but it was their similar love for fun that brought them together; their definitions of fun were different, but in only a short time, they began to understand and crave for the type of excitement and fun the other normally went for. Training camps did wonders for volleyball, and one particular camp did wonders for the lives of a messy-haired third-year and an outrageously fun-loving blonde. Ever since that week, they had been strangely inseperable.

While Terushima was wild and unpredictable, a live-for-today kind of guy, Kuroo was stability, a plan-for-tomorrow kind of guy; they worked well with each other, despite the differences in their personalities, and ever since Tetsurou had surprised Yuuji with a kiss under the stars after a long day at training camp, Terushima had been totally _hooked_ on the messy-haired forward.

An unusual phenomenon occurred that summer break, and many students, both at Johzenji and Nekoma were shocked to learn that Tetsurou, the level-headed, teasing, studious young man was dating a pierced, playful second-year from Johzenji, the party school. Not that the couple really noticed. Neither of them had ever been in a long-term relationship before, so when the time of their year anniversary came, both of them were so surprised they forgot to get each other a gift. How strange these events happen, so quick to develop into something serious...before either of them could realize how their lives had changed on account of this friendship/relationship, the words "I love you" were spewing from their lips, completely genuine, completely real. Kuroo actually laughed when Terushima returned the phrase, never thinking he would ever have the privilege of hearing such kind words fall from the second-year's mouth.

Although rare for high school students, their kisses were nothing short of purity.

When Kuroo decided to pursue basketball instead of volleyball, the blonde went to each and every single one of his boyfriend's games; at Nationals, he lead Nekoma's student section with the loudest cheers in the entire stadium. In return, his boyfriend was patiently faithful when Yuuji was finishing-up his high school career. When they reunited at college, their bond had grown even stronger, especially after the blizzard of 2015, when Terushima was snowed-in at Tetsurou’s parents’ home after going there to meet the entire family for the first time.

 

“Yikes,” Yuuji whispered as they laid down that night, content to sleep together on the floor, since the grandparents didn’t think it appropriate that the boys sleep together in Kuroo’s old room. “I think the only one who likes me is your younger sister, still—did you see the way your grandmother glared at me when Kita mentioned my tongue piercing?!”

Tetsurou snorted that hilarious laugh of his under his breath, snuggling closer to his boyfriend.

“Don’t worry about her,” He smiled lazily. “Did you know if we got married, I’d be the first gay male in the family since my mother’s great-great-great grandfather?”

Terushima really did try to hold in his cackles, but one of the relatives still heard and came out to scold them. On the inside, he was beaming with the idea of marrying his geeky boyfriend; Kuroo knew it, too, and gave him a light kiss on that tiny little nose of his, whispering a promise neither of them ever expected to be broken.

 

Five months after, when Yuuji’s family dog died, the basketball star was there, excusing himself from practice to comfort his lover as much as he could.

 

Despite this…despite all the memories the couple made together, despite the firsts, despite how much each individual had improved through this incredible friendship…those things apparently weren’t enough to save the relationship: before Kuroo tore his ACL in the first game at the Olympics in Los Angeles, he and Terushima went through their only rough patch, which then lead to the world crashing down on Tetsurou’s shoulders after a booming backhand came in contact with the love of his life’s cheek.

 

Let’s back up here and see where this domestic dispute began; it all started when Kuroo began adjusting his train of thought, his very method of going about life. Since he learned about his spot on the Olympic team, his interest in changing himself became his main concern. It wasn’t that he was too obsessed with the sport or obsessed with himself for being talented enough to become captain of the team…it was just the fact that since everyone was telling him what to do, he couldn’t stop thinking about playing, his style of playing, his role as the captain, his advice to the younger players. He was even considering picking-up smoking so he wouldn’t feel so stressed. He kept asking his boyfriend for his opinion, trying to gather advice on what he should say during interviews, blah blah blah; Yuuji was ready and willing to help, at first, but quickly became bored of that game and tried to set Kuroo right by loudly wondering when in the hell Tetsurou had started doing what other people told him to, instead of just relying on his natural ability to lead.

After that first argument, things got even rougher.

The Olympics were coming up, but Tetsurou could hardly find it in him to be excited; he just kept getting more and more stressed about all the information people were throwing at him, eventually causing him to stay up until the early hours of the morning, thinking and thinking of ways to change his reactions. Frankly, Yuuji was getting sick of it. Kuroo was becoming less of himself, the person Terushima fell in love with, and that hurt, especially when Kuroo _himself_ said that maybe he was just changing for the better. Now, the young college student wasn’t known to be a sensitive, easily offended kind of guy, but lately, he couldn’t prevent himself from feeling like his boyfriend was _intentionally_ giving him this information, like he was trying to get him prepared for a media frenzy or something. Terushima didn’t understand, and let his feelings be known.

Yuuji thought his plan would work—he wanted Kuroo to know how crazy it was that he was letting himself be manipulated by the words of others. He thought getting a rise out of the basketball star (for once) would be the only event powerful enough to where he would finally admit to his wrongdoings; it was extremely difficult to get Tetsurou angry, especially when Terushima was the one attempting, but the blonde was going to try his best to provoke some real emotions out of Kuroo, because lately, most of his expressions didn’t belong to him.

 

A week before the Olympic games, the fight that ended it all took place.

 

Terushima did as he said. He provoked Tetsurou as much as he could, teasing him with remarks about how he was pretty much dating the entire Japanese media, as his boyfriend had taken on their personalities for himself. He asked him question after question, asking who he was, who he thought he was, and telling him that he wasn’t as big a deal as everyone made him out to be. Yuuji wasn’t saying any of it to hurt Kuroo’s feelings—he just had a strong hunch that bringing such emotion out would claim his real boyfriend back.

To an extent, it worked.

“Just tell me what the fuck your problem is, Kuroo!” Terushima yelled as the moonlight slid in through the window, taunting them with its glow during the late hours of the night. Tetsurou had finally yelled back for once, temper snapping in half at all the accusations his boyfriend was pinning on him. “Since when do you give a damn about your _own_ image? I thought it was all about the _team_ , Tetsurou! That's what you always used to tell me, isn't it?! Isn’t it about the _team’s_ success, not yours? What happened to that?”

“You’re such a fucking _hypocrite_ , Yuuji.”

“ _Am_ I?! You’re the one who keeps doing what everyone else tells you to! Why don’t you just turn off the fucking news channel once in a while so you can sleep at night?!”

“Don’t _tell me_ what to _do_!!!” Kuroo practically screamed.

His tone frightened the other, causing him to wonder if he had made the right plan, but neither backed down from the fight.

“You’re acting just like the rest of them, Terushima, always _always_ telling me what to do!!!”

“How many times do I have to _tell_ you?!” Yuuji hollered back. “Do _not_. _listen_.to _w_ —”

 

It happened as fast as a strike of lightning; through the darkness of their apartment, Terushima could hardly see the back of Tetsurou’s hand coming towards his face. The hit pushed his head to the side with a violent slap, his body not understanding what was happening—he stumbled and fell on his backside, cheek burning like fire from the sharp, traumatizing impact.

The sky fell down on top of their ceiling, crushing Kuroo under its weight as both young men remained frozen in time, the reality of what just took place shooting their hearts with relentless rounds of steel bullets until Yuuji slowly turned his head forward to stare in absolute disbelief at his boyfriend. Kuroo’s hazel cat eyes were blown back with shock, his hovering lips trembling from terror when he realized what _he himself_ had just done.

Tetsurou, who only swore maybe five times a year, had just _slapped_ Terushima, the love of his life.

 

The burning on Kuroo’s hand and the sharp, stinging sensation on Yuuji’s left cheek would only serve as painful reminders that what they once had was completely gone.

 

Terushima didn’t file a report on his boyfriend. Why would he, when he knew that the reason Kuroo struck him so was because of how heavily he had taunted him? He knew Tetsurou wasn’t an abuser, but what really made him leave was the fact that the person he fell in love with had changed. Even two-months ago, had Yuuji tormented him the way he had that night…Kuroo wouldn’t have hit him. He probably wouldn’t have even yelled back. Maybe the fame was getting to him, or maybe the pressure to remain a good captain for his team became too much, but…

Either way, his personality was too far gone for Yuuji to stay.

“ _I’m sorry_ ,” Kuroo sobbed, giving Terushima one last hug before he left the apartment the next afternoon. “I love you, I-I’m so sorry…I didn’t k-know it would g-go _this far_ …”

“I know,” Yuuji whispered, forcing the tears to stay away from his voice as he buried his head into the taller man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, too, Tetsurou…I’m _s-sorry_ …”

 

Following a few more choked “I love you’s" from each party, Yuuji finally forced himself to walk out the door, leaving Kuroo behind to abuse himself with unanswerable “what if’s” as the second ticket to Los Angeles sat on the kitchen counter, never to be used.

 

In the basketball player’s opinion, their talkative group of friends was the worst part about their break-up. Well, technically the worst part was not being with Yuuji, but this was a close second; even after Terushima admitted to provoking his boyfriend, even after Tetsurou came out and said he fucked-up, they continued to tell him so. “Yeah bro, you really fucked-up,” they would say. The next day it would be “Why’d you fuck this up?” The day after that would be a mixture of the two phrases. They kept _hammering_ Kuroo with that line, repeating it day after day, all the way up until the night of the fucking Olympic opening ceremony, even. By the time the first game began, the basketball player had heard those insults over twenty-times, had been _texted_ it over fifty-times, and had said it to _himself_ at least a hundred-times.

It was enough to drive Kuroo insane.

He _knew_ he fucked-up. Telling him that wouldn’t change nor help anything. If he already knew and had wholeheartedly _admitted_ that fact, why would they keep saying it? Once the game started, Tetsurou planned on playing the best game of his career, just so he could at least get some anger out, because ever since Terushima provoked him on the worst night of his life, he had been feeling nothing _but_ anger.

In the first quarter, the captain of the team scored fifteen-points, snatched seven rebounds, and had six assists.

In the second quarter, number one went down after a nasty fall and was taken to the locker-room to have his left knee evaluated.

 

“The ACL ligament is torn in two places,” The doctor pointed out on the x-ray. “The surgery usually takes place…”

 

 _Fuck_. Kuroo _knew_ this was payback. This was payback, revenge for that stupid slap he had laid against Yuuji’s cheek. He _knew_ this was it. In some retrospect, he figured that was almost fair enough for taking advantage of Terushima’s trust in him, but now…

Now, it really _was_ all over.

Most people get surgery after tearing their ACL. Kuroo didn’t. Many of his friends on the basketball team knew Terushima, too, and of course had heard what happened; they were some of the ones who kept telling him that he fucked-up. After the diagnosis, the ones who used to be closest to him must have saw this as karma, too, because they just kept telling him that he would make things better, that he could make things better, that if he tried hard enough, he could fix everything that went wrong; if he fixed himself first, everything would be forgiven. All the blame, all the conversation was suddenly on Kuroo. Apparently, he deserved to have his career stop.

The first of many declined interviews happened on that night.

The second breaking point? The following day, when Japan beat the U.S.A basketball team for the first time in ten-years, _without_ their captain and first-leading rebounder. There were many other talented players sitting on the bench who contributed at least seven-points, leading them over the reigning champs in an almost _easy_ victory, 89-78. Kuroo thought he would feel happy, _thrilled_ for his team, as he was still a valuable part of their organization, but when the others celebrated, cheering on the bench-warmers who had stepped up…he realized that just like Terushima, they no longer needed him. Their talent was young. Their talent was fresh. Their team would be even better in the years to come; this team was basically a stepping-stone clearing the path for the new generation.

 

Kuroo wasn’t sure what hurt worse; all three assaults were even betrayals, enough to push his heart and mind further and further away from the light of reality.

 

The team commented on Tetsurou’s leave from the Olympics two-days later, saying they hoped he would use this time to sort out his personal issues and let his injury heal-up for next season; Terushima fought back and forth between texting his ex, just to see if he was okay, but by the time he made a choice, his phone carrier decided that it didn’t send long-distance text messages to Los Angeles. If the blonde had still been with his boyfriend, he would have been in Los Angles to comfort him face-to-face.

The only message Kuroo had was from his parents. None of the team thought him stable enough to talk to; they all thought he was some secret domestic abuser who had been controlling Terushima for the past five-years, which was in no way true, but…Yuuji was still gone. His friends had ceased talking to him, since all he did was get upset with them for how they continuously told him about just _how much_ he had fucked-up—

Tetsurou _KNEW_.

They didn’t think he _knew_ what he had lost? They didn’t think he _hated_ himself for what he did to Yuuji, no matter how much he provoked him? They didn’t think he _knew_ that the ACL tear was karma? They didn’t think he _regretted_ that night? Apparently not. Their silence confirmed that they had forgotten him, but not forgotten his deed. The only people who replied were his parents, whose sympathy came most unwelcomed to Tetsurou, although that wasn’t their fault. Some reporters wanted to talk, but not about his injury—only about the team he was no longer apart of.

 

It seemed as if Kuroo Tetsurou had never even existed.

 

And that was exactly why he decided to make the vision a reality.

 

With all the excitement following the Olympics, Kuroo’s disappearance wasn’t difficult. He dropped everything he had after making the decision to just _leave_. He didn’t care if he died. He didn’t care if his friends hated him. Apparently, he wasn’t needed in this world.

To quote the words of his tearful ex-boyfriend moments after the slap,

“I never want to see you _ever again_!!!”

For having never drunk more than a sip of wine in his entire life, getting plastered was pretty easy for the washed-up basketball star; while his team was off getting closer and closer to the Olympic championship game, Kuroo was lying on the couch in his lonely apartment, over six whiskey bottles (completely empty) lying on the carpet around him. He slept for most of the days following Japan’s Olympic first-place game, which they won by a landslide, content to live in the silence that was damning isolation.

 

In the midst of his drinking spree, Tetsurou bought a ticket for an unknown country, and put himself to sleep until the day the airplane took off.

 

_I've been running through the jungle_

_I've been running with the wolves_

_To get to you, to get to you_

_I've been down the darkest alleys_

_Saw the dark side of the moon_

_To get to you, to get to you_

None of the media could figure out where Kuroo Tetsurou was.

 

His basketball team had commented that the star was going through some personal issues, but the fans expected, at the very least, a statement from Kuroo himself explaining his absence since the first Olympic game. Nothing came, and people were left wondering what the hell had happened to make him drop everything and vanish so suddenly. Only his parents had been in contact with him, but were not speaking to the public at this time; Terushima, keeping tabs on Kuroo to make sure he wouldn’t completely lose himself, reached out to his ex immediately.

**_TO: Kuroo babe! ;P_ **

_Hey. U doin okay? Howz the knee?_

 

_ MESSAGE SEND FAILURE. _

_ The number you are trying to reach is currently not connected to a line at this time. Your message has not been received by the recipient on account of this. _

 

Yuuji figured that was only because Kuroo had blocked his number, and opted to try again from someone else’s phone in a few weeks.

What was Tetsurou doing while a few people wondered where he was?

 

Having landed in Thailand after his old team was crowned the Olympic champions, Kuroo spent the first few months in a drug-filled haze.

 

No one ever visited his isolated little hut on the outside of a small village, roughly fifteen-miles away from the actual city; he had found a dealer easily, and spent a majority of the money he brought with on cocaine, heroin, vodka, and a few choice pills that were supposed to help with the pain. Kuroo had never done drugs up to this point in his life, but he found them surprisingly easy to understand; if he took the pain meds with heroin, he was guaranteed at least a one peaceful night of dreamless sleep. If he took cocaine alone, he would be able to spend the day without thinking of anything that would cause him pain. If he smoked some cigarettes while going on a drinking spree, the fowl taste in his mouth would make him forget the taste of Yuuji’s lips. Sometimes, if he forgot what he was taking with what, the pain in his knee would even go away.

Five-months of Tetsurou’s life went by such as this.

Most of those days were filled with hate. Hate for himself. Kuroo didn't hate anyone else, even though some of the people he thought were his friends had practically thrown him away for one mistake. It always came back to the same thought, however, the thought that he didn't deserve to have any of those friends, didn't deserve to make one mistake, because that one mistake had been against _Yuuji_. Terushima was the love of his life, his best friend in the entire world, and...he _hit_ him. He hit him on the cheek, the same cheek he would kiss and caress! Every time Tetsurou closed his eyes, he saw that betrayed, hurt, absolutely _heart-wrenching_ expression on Terushima's handsome face; Kuroo hated himself for being the one to put that look on his face, in those usually so playful and tricky almond eyes. He fucking _hated_ himself for not being the one to protect Yuuji from that. What the hell was he thinking? Why did he want to change himself, when Terushima already loved him for the person he was? It didn't make sense. It didn't make a bit of sense, and that realization was what pushed Tetsurou to drink and drink and drink and drink until the world was black.

Yuuji...lying on the carpet, staring up at him as tears filled his eyes, as his lips began to tremble...sitting on the ground because Kuroo was the one to put him there...the idea that instead of listening to what his boyfriend was telling him (the truth), Tetsurou had brushed him aside because he was so obsessed with becoming the perfect captain, the perfect pro athlete, all leading him to push Terushima down, instead of building him up...that was what Kuroo saw when he was conscious. It was too much.

One day, when he finally managed to read the words on the calendar at the small bar in town, Tetsurou was surprised to find out that he had only been gone for five short months; it had felt like a single day to him, the sting of his hand after slapping Yuuji still fresh, the aching in his chest as he watched the younger players win the Olympic medal, the jolting pain in his left knee whenever he put too much weight on it…the black-haired young man was surprised it didn’t hurt worse, but after glancing in a store window on one of his rare trips to town, he realized that there wasn’t much weight for the poor thing to support. All that smoking had done severe damage to his figure, wearing him down to nothing more than a feeble creature of maybe 125 pounds, no remaining muscle mass to fall back on; his hands were cracked and bony, looking more similar to the thin-Terushima’s than to a healthy basketball player’s.

And his face…god, his face would have made his mother _weep_.

Kuroo was glad hardly any place in this little Thailand country had Wi-Fi, because he could never say no to his mother, and if she requested he go to a local café and face-chat with her, he would have to listen and watch her bawl her eyes out. The snorting of various drugs had made his nose red and raw, narrow from always pressing down on one side or the other, in order to suck-up the cocaine; the effects from both those and the alcohol made Tetsurou’s handsome face hollow and grey, causing him to look more like a drugged animal than a young man. Those alert cat-like eyes were drained of any emotion, sunken into their sockets, unable to move or react quickly. His collarbones were nothing more but skin hanging on bones, and his skin was dry, rough, unclean, as if he hadn’t taken a shower since leaving Japan.

 

Thankfully, his mother didn’t see any of this because Kuroo had thrown his cell phone into a dump, disconnected the number, and only communicated through letters.

 

When he was conscious, Tetsurou kept his mind busy with writing, scribbling out bullshit stories to his parents and younger sister about “finding his serenity” or something on the lines of inner-peace. Kuroo was far from finding anything, much less, happiness within himself, and Kita seemed to know this, because each time she helped her parents write back, she asked her brother to come visit them for the holidays.

By the time Kuroo’s letter arrived, the holiday would have passed.

And he never wrote letters to Terushima.

Of course, after eight-months with no word of their ex-captain’s return, the basketball team asked Yuuji if he knew where he was; they figured he was in some rehab in the states, but Terushima had no useful information to give. His efforts to find Kuroo were futile. The little twerp Tetsurou was good at keeping his parents tight-lipped, because even when Kita offered to help Yuuji (they were still acquaintances, though hadn’t been close), she was never able to get the letters in time to gather the exact location of Kuroo. That was the only thing their son begged them to do, and so, concerned over his stability, his parents never told Kita, nor Terushima, where he was hiding, and hid his address from their view.

If they had known that their only son was addicted to drugs and alcohol, on the path to suicide, they would have given-up the address in the blink of an eye.

 

But they _didn’t_ know.

 

Despite inducing himself into a haze of cocaine and painkillers, Kuroo thought often. He reflected on his life, the reasons why he was stuck inside this little Thailand hut, surrounded by vodka bottles and cigarette smoke…he reflected on the good old days, when the basketball team needed him, _wanted_ him on the team…he reflected on the three occasions in which Yuuji and he made love to each other, each time they screamed each other’s name…he reflected on the college days, when he would surprise his old friends back home by showing-up for their practice…none of it helped his current situation.

In fact, remembering those sweet memories only drove his mind further away from sanity. Because he still loved Terushima more than any of those materials or titles, and it was quickly killing him.

 

At the year anniversary of his leave from Japan, Kuroo celebrated by injecting some heroin into his veins and writing a suicide note.

 

Anger and sorrow consumed his trembling hand as he struggled to find the right words, scribbling and biting his lip so hard the blood dripped onto the page, combining with the few tears he managed to cry. Instead of writing a beautiful poetry verse like he once did for Terushima’s birthday, Tetsurou simply wrote what his last thoughts would be; he didn't give much of an explanation, not much of anything, really, but the last of his thoughts, when he would pretend Yuuji was next to him so he could die in peace.

_I know I fucked up. why does everyone feel the need to repeat it to me. i know I fucked up…but i’ve worked it all out inside my head. i know about my fuck ups, and i realized i am too bad a person. i know myself now and forever, so you dont have to tell me again…i already know i’m not wanted or needed anyplace. it is ok now…because i know i am not needed, its ok now_

_i love you dad. I love you mommy..._

Kuroo purposely forgot to mention Terushima and Kita, knowing that thinking about them would only make his death that much more agonizing.

After two days of rotting away on the floor, Tetsurou didn’t die. He woke-up in the nearby pond.

 

Kuroo decided to go for a walk.

 

Thailand’s forest was filled with beauty, rich green colors, thick mazes of strong, immovable trees and plants; everywhere Kuroo looked, he was met with enriching sights of fluttering birds, insects and butterflies, hidden coves, animal burrows, and some of the most beautiful flowers he had ever seen before. There were pink ones, yellow ones, speckled petals, plain petals, long stems, prickly stems…after all the disgusting environments Tetsurou had been trapped in for the past year, the outside world right behind his hut was like a heavenly jungle. The clear air gave new life to his abused lungs, and every color splattered fresh perspective into his heart…for the first time in a long time, Kuroo actually realized that he was still alive.

A rustling noise startled him out of his new world, and the ex-basketball star hurriedly turned around, coming face to face with a creature of the Thailand jungle.

 

Tetsurou’s heart sparked with warmth, one he hadn’t felt since being happy with Terushima when his cleared vision spotted a fuzzy little creature standing shyly to the side of a thick bush, staring up at Kuroo with eyes blacker than the night sky. Kuroo unmistakably recognized it as being a Chow-Chow, because that was the kind Yuuji’s family dog was, and after meeting and seeing hundreds of pictures of that breed, the young man didn’t hesitate to label the pup as such. But there was something different about her than normal Chow-Chows; instead of a having tan, orangeish fur, the colors Kuroo saw were darker, mixtures of greys and blacks and whites. The ears were a bit longer than a normal Chow-Chow’s, and the body was slimmer, the tail longer and not as tightly-curled—

When the puppy howled at him playfully, Tetsurou realized he was standing in front of a wolf hybrid.

“Hey there little puppy,” Kuroo tried to coo, horrified at what was supposed to be his voice.

_Jeez…when was the last time I spoke to someone?_

“Hey…it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you…”

With some friendly coaxing (and some mental therapy to himself, convincing the real Kuroo that he wasn't lying, he really wouldn't hurt the cute little animal), the wolf pup jiggled over to Tetsurou, moving with more athleticism than the basketball player expected; cautiously, he stroked the dog’s fur, further investigating which characteristics it stole from the wild wolf. Its paws were thicker, rough on the pads as the puppy playfully swatted at Kuroo, and the fur surrounding the head wasn’t as fluffy as usual, making her look similar to a lion. A strange part of Tetsurou came drifting back when the adorable animal lapped at his hand, making itself at home between his knees—

And just like that, the wolf took off running.

 

“Wait!”

 

Kuroo was no longer in any shape to run, but thankfully, the puppy didn’t go far, only bringing the human to a murder scene by some large rocks in the jungle; even though the young man had seen far worse in the past year of his life, mostly from nightmares including Terushima, bloody and beaten to a pulp by his abusive boyfriend (LCD was not a drug Kuroo liked that much), the sight of the pup’s dead Chow-Chow mother lying on the dirt in a filthy mess made his heart lurch with sympathy. The feeling of protection only grew stronger when the little she-dog sniffed her mother again, peering up at Kuroo as if he was supposed to help bring her back to life.

“I see…the pack must have killed her after she had you.” Tetsurou said sadly, kneeling-down slowly. The bite marks on the poor deceased mother were vicious, blood-stained, having torn the skin apart on almost every inch of her body; the pack had been ruthless in their murder, going so far as to eat half of the dog’s body. Why they left the rest was a mystery to Kuroo.

 

All he knew, in that moment, was that the wolf puppy needed him.

 

“Come here girl,” Tetsurou whispered, gently cradling the dog in his weak arms. “Let’s get you some food, hm? I could use a good meal, too.”

_I've looked for love in every stranger_

_Took too much to ease the anger_

_All for you, yeah, all for you_

 

What was Terushima doing while Kuroo was raising a wolf pup and renovating the abandoned greenhouse one mile from his hut?

Well, Yuuji kept up with the news as much as he could, hoping he would hear something positive, but it seems as though no one in the entire world aside from Tetsurou himself knew what was going on. All the press companies had sent journalists out to check each rehab in Japan and the Americas, but nothing showed for it. All the sports gossip channels had nothing to go on, since Kita hadn’t posted a picture with her brother since the first day of the Olympics…it had been over a year since the basketball team had even mentioned Kuroo in passing. No doctors had come forward to gossip about the ACL surgery. There were articles wondering what the hell happened, if he was kicked off the team, if he was thrown away for his injury, if he simply didn’t want to play anymore, but they were just that: theories. Nobody knew the truth about Kuroo Tetsurou.

Not even his ex-boyfriend.

 

Terushima forgot why he started watching sports shows late at night when he couldn’t sleep. He forgot why he drove past he and Kuroo’s old apartment on his way to work. He forgot why he thought before speaking his mind, because that was simply a good habit Tetsurou had taught him during their time together. Yuuji tried texting and calling Kuroo from multiple different devices, only for the same stupid message or recording to play every single time:

_“The number you are trying to call has been disc—”_

For the first year, Yuuji really thought his ex was just living it up in some foreign country. He always said he wanted to travel to Transylvania, so the blonde figured his parents didn’t want anyone bothering his self-isolation, hoping he could find someone different who didn’t tease and provoke Tetsurou. Terushima thought Kuroo’s parents liked him…but their reluctance to send messages for him proved that they didn’t trust him enough.

After a year-and-a-half of the worst silence Yuuji had ever heard in his entire loud life, Kita posted a picture on Instagram at midnight on Christmas Day:

She and a young man who looked very similar to her were standing in front of a large Christmas tree with blue lights twinkling on each branch, smiling brightly, their winter mittens and hats on, sharing the picture with a poofy, athletic-looking chow-chow dog. 

 **kitakuroo1** : "Merry Xmas from the Kuroo siblings! (Photobomb by Mae, the world’s most adorable pup!)”

 

Her brother had come home, giving her a vague explanation, his location, his new life…

 

 _Kuroo_.

 

…That was Kuroo. That was the same stupid bed-head trying to hide underneath the red stocking cap. That was the same brother Kita had grown-up with. That…that was his boyfriend. The same boyfriend he fell in love with his second-year, at training camp when Kuroo played volleyball, the same boyfriend he wanted to marry, the same boyfriend he gave his virginity to (and likewise), the same boyfriend who made him a better, more rounded person…

And yet…it _wasn’t_ the same person.

Yuuji’s eyes were practically touching the screen with how close he brought his phone to his face; Tetsurou…he and his beautiful face were different. His hazel eyes were different, more narrow than usual, and the shape of his cheeks were slimmer. Something about his overall appearance was entirely different, but Terushima was too relieved to see him alive to pinpoint what the feature was. He looked worn-out, maybe? Ill? At this point, for practically being a missing celebrity, anything was possible.

Even though time had never gone slow for Terushima, the amount of time the blonde stared at the picture seemed to last an eternity.

 

 _…I-Is he here?_ Yuuji thought shakily, heart locking onto the image of Kuroo. _Is he in Japan? How long is he here for? Where has he been? …Should I go see him, or would that ruin his homecoming? Wait—is he even here to stay, or just visiting for the holidays? Where did he get that cute dog? It looks just like our family Chow-Chow…_

 

Yuuji wasn’t sure which reminder hurt worse.

 

After almost two-years of pining, Terushima wasn’t sure what to do next; fighting against the thought-processing habit Kuroo once advised for him, Yuuji threw on his jacket and jumped into his car, driving as safely but as quickly as possible to find his way back into the arms of the only person he had ever truly loved. He remembered the directions to the Kuroo residence like he had just visited yesterday with his soon-to-be fiancé.

When Yuuji knocked on the door, Kita told him that he was too late—

 

Tetsurou had left that morning.

 

_Your fingertips trace my skin_

_To places I have never been_

_Blindly, I am following_

_Break down these walls and come on in_

_I wanna feel the way that we did that summer night, night_

_Drunk on a feeling, alone with the stars in the sky_

 

After all the shit he had put himself through, Kuroo managed to make a life in Thailand.

 

With the limited amount of technology in the area, it wasn’t difficult to keep a low profile; there wasn’t a single person in the village who was able to link Tetsurou’s name with anyone they knew, and that was how he liked it. With the greenhouse a mile away from his hut up and running again, Kuroo provided people with breathtaking flowers used as gifts, for celebrations, for weddings, or to start other gardens in the area. He and Mae would spend all day at the greenhouse, only stopping to play basketball with some of the children on the edge of town, who were under the impression that Kuroo was an American foreigner who knew a lot about basketball because he watched the NBA or something. He would give them casual pointers about their form, but mostly just let them beat him when they played Around The World.

Soon enough, Tetsurou felt needed by the children, if only to be comic relief.

After visiting his family for the first time in over a year, Kuroo had felt his own need for Terushima spark a fire in his gut, just like when they were together. He wanted to give him a present, but didn’t know if that was appropriate. He wanted to give him a Christmas card, but didn’t dare ask for his address. He wanted to give him a call, but feared that some sort of restraining order had been placed on him while he was away. Despite what good and bad the isolation did to Kuroo, he was in desperate need for some loud company, and Yuuji fit the bill.

 

In the end, he returned back to Thailand without having done anything to mend his past relationship.

 

Normally, Tetsurou avoided thinking about Yuuji at all costs, but after getting himself clean from drugs and alcohol, his mind reminded him of those memories by secretly wiring his hard-drive to imagine Terushima whenever he saw a sunset, or looked at Mae, or even when he was lying on the couch, wishing he had someone to cuddle with. On one night where he was feeling particularly lonely, Kuroo even had a _wet dream_ about his ex, making him feel like a teenager all over again (not that it was unwelcomed. Ever since visiting Japan, he felt older than ever, even though it had only been two-years since he last played pro-basketball). Well, his love and lust got the better of him, and Tetsurou ended-up touching himself to completion by recalling the way Yuuji’s playful, teasing voice would turn all desperate and whiny whenever they were intimate.

When the two-year anniversary of his disappearance arrived, Kuroo cried, because he really missed Terushima.

 _I’m so fucking pathetic_ , Tetsurou thought, heart breaking all over again as he curled himself up in a ball, trying to protect his heart from any more damage. He hadn’t sworn since weaning himself off cocaine and all those other drugs he tried to use to ease the pain. _I can’t even face the one person I love, after two fucking years of not seeing him, not talking to him, not being able to touch him…how lame can it get? What happened to the old me? I know parts of him returned, because I saw him come back after I almost overdosed—but where are the other halves? Are they still in Japan?_

_Are they still in Yuuji?_

 

Well…the ex-professional basketball player didn’t have any answers to those questions. Three-months after the anniversary, Kuroo woke in the early morning, put his clothes on, and followed Mae to the greenhouse.

 

 _Such a warm, stuffy morning_ , Tetsurou thought, trying to breathe through the thickness of the hot sunrise air. _Would it be the same, had my soul been storming?_

_It’s nice to know I’ve still got a poet in me._

Kuroo almost smiled and shook his head at himself, entering the greenhouse quietly, as to not disturb the flowers; it was mid-growing season, so this was a crucial point for the flower guide. He spent the first few minutes filling the water cans and whistling to himself thoughtfully, keeping a special eye on the garden-Catalina roses sitting in the left corner—Kuroo had been attempting to grow those for quite some time now, but each batch either went straight to death, or could never get quite enough sunlight to form their attractive rose-gold tint. Tetsurou grew those as his one reminder (the only one he admitted to, at least…) of Terushima. He kept telling himself that the first batch to make it through would be a sign for him to confront Yuuji about their relationship.

So far, this batch was looking okay; the large petals were blushing with the fairest trace of gold, and the early morning sun helped them along by turning its rays directly over their portion of the greenhouse. Like always, Kuroo found the sight comforting, and dared to go so far as describing the scene as _hopeful_.

 

Mae had grown into a fairly large dog, though her legs were still short and fluffy, her wolf colors brighter than ever; she was more graceful than her Chow-Chow mother, slipping through the rows and rows of flowers gracefully as her owner bent down to begin watering. Thank goodness his un-treated ACL tear hadn’t forced him to become dependent on anyone else. While Kuroo’s body was still recovering from the brutal effects of drugs and alcohol abuse, it had retained a majority of its color and shape, allowing him to bend without pain, reach without swaying, which was a feeling Tetsurou had taken for granted.

Sometimes, when Tetsurou became so absorbed in the kind of beauty only flowers (and Terushima) could produce, he wondered if there had been any precognitive signs that revealed the downfall of he and Yuuji’s life together. Was it written in the stars they would lie under? Was it heard in the soft brushes of wind that would mess with Terushima’s bangs? Was it seen on the blonde’s expression when Kuroo asked about their future together? Well…it didn’t really matter much anymore. The flowers were growing, and for now, that was quite enough for the 24-year-old. Well, maybe it wasn’t _totally_ enough for him, but Mae made up for the extra void, and the kids at the par—

 

“T— _Tetsurou_.”

 

Kuroo’s entire body whipped around in a panic, heart startled to hear not just _anyone_ come wandering into his greenhouse, but…but…

Glossy almond eyes stared back at him, thin lips hovering open, the final syllable caught on his skin.

 

“……Yu……”

 

Tetsurou blinked, and the same image appeared.

_“Yuuji_.”

 

_I've been running through the jungle_

_I've been running with the wolves_

_To get to you, to get to you_

_I've been down the darkest alleys_

_Saw the dark side of the moon_

_To get to you, to get to you_

_I've looked for love in every stranger_

_Took too much to ease the anger_

_All for you…_

_Yeah, all for you_

Terushima looked amazing.

 

Had he always been that tall? Had he always looked so full? Had his skin always been so clear? What the hell was even happening? Was Kuroo actually dead? As he was overdosing, was God just showing him the nicest ending of what could have happened between them? No…no. This was _real_. It was real because Kuroo could feel the sun, could smell the pollen of the flowers, could see Terushima standing not more than seven-feet away from him, after two long, hard years…

The world was empty for the shortest moment—

 

And then, the entire jungle came running.

 

It was quite incredible how neither party showed any hesitation to rush forward and fall into the other’s arms, even after _everything_ they had been through. Kuroo’s step was slower, but only because he wanted to make sure Yuuji knew who he was jumping into again; the blonde threw his body onto Tetsurou’s, gasping and laughing and crying simultaneously. It was difficult to describe, but the young men were feeling nothing but relief upon holding each other again, like they used to oh so long ago…they weren’t pointing fingers, or accusing, or asking why. They were just… _relieved_. At the end of the day, they not only lost their significant other that night, but also their best friend.

No matter the future, the loneliness deep inside their souls was now gone.

When the pair broke apart, they immediately stepped backwards, separating enough where they would be able to think clearly; Terushima spoke again, blessing Tetsurou’s ears with that stupid sound he had been wanting to keep a piece of contained in a glass jar forever, so that he could listen to it whenever he was feeling low. Mae was excited over the new-comer and happily wagged her tail, waiting patiently as Yuuji bent down to pet her affectionately.

 

Kuroo…Kuroo was relieved to know that he had still never been so much in love with Terushima.

 

“Ah…you’re a pretty girl, aren’t you?” Yuuji cooed to the wolf-hybrid, softly running a slender finger over her ear. “…Her name’s Mae, right?”

Tetsurou didn’t stop a smile from coming to his lips.

“Yeah...Mae.”

“Hi Mae…gosh, you’re just too pretty for me. I might be out of my league with this one.”

“Ah, she’s a real geek when you get to know her.”

Yuuji peered-up at his ex with a smile in return, standing straight after giving Mae one last rub. There were thousands of things they could have said—they could have started with apologies, or explanations, or questions…two-years ago, they had entered an unknown jungle, unfamiliar territory. They faced opposite sides all alone, exploring, tripping over their own feet, losing themselves in the vines, disappearing from the eyes of the trees like magic. Now meeting in the middle…it was like a new world had been hidden from their view, but was sitting right in front of them all this time. Terushima wanted to hold Kuroo’s hand, but figured that would have to wait, if only another moment.

What was another second compared to two-years thousands of miles apart?

“So,” Yuuji breathed, re-memorizing every inch of Tetsurou’s handsome face. “You’re…gardening, now? I didn’t know you had hobbies like that.”

Kuroo huffed in amusement, a sly smile he hadn’t pulled off in two-years creeping onto his lips as he gave an innocent shrug.

“It’s more of a career path, honestly…you know me, not cut-out for celebrity life.” He joked dryly. “Just like you said—my personality is more suited towards the quiet life.”

“Not too quiet, though, right?” Terushima asked playfully, although his undertone was anxious for the real answer.

“No,” The black-haired man shook his head once. “…Not _too_ quiet.”

 

 _Damnit. I was hoping he didn’t still love me_ , Yuuji thought stubbornly. _That’s a lie, duh, but…it kinda hurts, knowing how much time we’ve wasted apart. I don’t know what to say next, what to ask…_

 

Mae panted in the hot morning air as the two strangers stood silently in front of each other, gathering their thoughts while not taking their eyes off the breathtaking sight only inches away, within grabbing distance; suddenly, Tetsurou’s body weakened with the reminder of how gut-wrenching the aftermath of their only fight had been, the one that single-handedly tore their relationship apart at the seams, the one that caused Kuroo (and Terushima, though by his own discretion) to lose all his friendships, his career, his dreams…the most important dream of all…

Feeling that dark, destructive shadow lingering around in the back of his mind, Tetsurou gave a big sigh, finally tearing his gaze away to stare at the soft brown dirt below his bare feet.

Even though the ex-basketball star wanted to be the first to speak, Yuuji, of course, beat him to the chase.

 

“Tetsurou…” He began slowly, waiting until Kuroo looked back up to continue. “Is that…i-is that the _only_ reason you left? Just…um…just because you weren’t cut-out for the life?”

Part of Terushima already knew the answer, but after over 750 days of mourning and doubting…

“No,” Kuroo said seriously, bitterly. “…Of _course_ that’s not the only reason.”

The blonde’s heart, already racing at this point, began to hammer behind his chest bone, rattling his other insides as he prepared for a moment he had battled through the jungle to get to.

“I’m really happy you’re here, Yuuji…I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see someone before. But…whatever you came here to do, take me back to Japan, force me to get surgery and return to basketball…or…even take me back as your boyfriend, or your fiancé…it can’t happen.” Tetsurou whispered,.

The flowers wept at his words.

“It can’t happen just like that, no matter how much I wish it could.” He smiled sadly. “So…whatever you want to do, I’ll be willing to talk about, but…just know that there’s still a lot I can’t tell you, Yuuji-chan, but that they’re the things I want to tell you most. If you just want to talk and have me listen…that’s perfectly fine.”

_More than fine, actually…_

Kuroo cleared his throat and turned back to his watering cans as Mae and Terushima stood there blankly; the hose filling the cans was the only noise in the entire jungle.

“I’ll have to finish-up here fi—”

“Do you remember the poem?”

 

Tetsurou looked at Terushima again, blinking his confusion away. Yuuji’s eyes had a stronger expression now, one the florist didn’t recall ever seeing in the course of their relationship.

 

“Do you remember that stupid, romantic-as-shit poem you wrote for my graduation day?” The blonde asked. His accusations were spoken much different than what Kuroo remembered. “It was titled Wolves. It started with some gay memory of us during training camp that one summer, remember? Then you went on to say that we were like wolves, running and sprinting through the trees and mountains, just so we could find each other. ‘I’ve been running through the jungle, I’ve b—”

“I’ve been crying to the wolves…to get to you.” Tetsurou finished in a weak voice. “I remember.”

“W-Well then,” Terushima sniffled, silently cursing himself for being such a sap, although he really didn’t care at heart. “Do you still believe in that? Or was it all just romantic poetry bullshit?”

 

Kuroo stared at Yuuji for a long, long moment; his cat-like eyes were focused, watery, even, letting the image before him make the decision. Here his ex-boyfriend was, in Thailand, standing in a greenhouse in the middle of nowhere, reciting some dumb poem he secretly cried about after Tetsurou gave it to him. He had come all this way…he had come home, where Kuroo was. Because Japan wasn’t home anymore. Yuuji had realized that a few weeks after he left their apartment, and yet, it had taken him this long to return.

Mae had never sat so silently in the course of her short life, intrigued by the current situation—the flowers surrounding them seemed to glow with anticipation, the sunshine edging their petals to full-bloom, even casting the golden illusion that the garden Catalina roses had finally blossomed. Tetsurou’s eye caught the sight, and within half a second, he was walking towards Terushima.

 

“Yes.” He said seriously, tears springing to his sore eyes. “I still believe in that.”

Kuroo stopped right in front of Yuuji, hearing a sharp inhale from the other when he grabbed onto his arms.

“And you _love_ my romantic poetry bullshit.”

 

Tetsurou and Terushima broke down in each other’s arms, stumbling to the ground so that they could hold one another closer than ever before, crying and whimpering apologizes as their bodies tried to mold together as one. Mae was startled by the turn of events, but sat back and watched in amazement as her owner laid on and cried into the blonde’s shoulder, cradling the back of Yuuji’s head like his life depended on it. They cried and sputtered for a few minutes, on the floor of the greenhouse, before finally coaxing out some audible apologizes.

“ _I’m so sorry_!” Kuroo wailed, chest hiccupping violently as his boyfriend gasped in pain. “I’m so sorry for that night, Yuuji…I’m so sorry…”

“I-I’m sorry, too.” Terushima choked out. “God, I’m so _fucking_ _sorry_ , Tetsurou…I d-didn’t mean to ruin e-everything, I swear…I’m _so sorry_ …”

“I love you!” The other cried passionately, sitting back to reveal his broken, honest expression. “I love you so much, Yuuji…”

A sob escaped the blonde’s lips, and before he could kiss Kuroo like he had wanted to for the past two-years, he let the tears fall freely and his confession slip-out.

 

“I l-ove you too.” Terushima sniffled tragically. “Tetsurou…I s-still really fucking love you.”

 

Their lips met in the middle, and Kuroo wondered how he ever could have left without saying goodbye.

 

Mae was so confused by the situation that she remained sitting in the greenhouse when the reunited couple grabbed onto each other’s hands and ran out, embracing the jungle as they continued to cry and laugh and sputter over their “I love you’s,” making their way towards the small hut a mile away. They snuck kisses, grazed their hands over lovable body parts and let their whispers drift through the leaves, echoing several times for their ears to hear.

“I missed you more than I missed life,” Tetsurou admitted, fresh sobs racking through his body when they finally made it inside. Yuuji didn’t remember if he shut the door behind him, too absorbed with the terrifying sight of his boyfriend’s guilty, absolutely _ashamed_ expression as his body froze in place. “I-I went on a drug high,” He wheezed painfully. “I-I lived on whiskey and vodka…I-I bought t-things, drugs I didn’t even know the n-names of, a-and I just kept _taking_ them and _taking_ them b-because—because I couldn’t _stand_ the sight of myself for what I did to you!”

Just when Terushima thought his heart had already broken enough for Kuroo, he had to go and admit to that; a trembled whimper broke through his lips as he covered his mouth, shocked at the reveal. The messy-haired man began to collapse in the blonde’s arms, legs weakening when his mind found its way back to that dangerous alleyway, the darkest place he never could have imagined existing. They stumbled into the bedroom so Terushima could lay Tetsurou down gently, cradle him lovingly, the same way Kuroo had wanted to be held as he laid on the ground or the couch or outside on the ground, seeing colors and black spots and images of his ex that only made the pounding in his head worse, the pulse on his wrist quicken…

“Shhh…” Yuuji hushed lightly, stroking a lock of the black hair he had missed more than words could say. His own aching throat was making the words difficult to say. “It’s okay…i-it’s okay, Tetsurou…I’m here now…shh…”

Kuroo brought himself back by listening to each tone, each syllable escaping Terushima’s lips, and finally calmed down enough to really appreciate the fact that the blonde was _here_ , lying beside him…it wasn’t a hallucination or a dream anymore. He was really here with him, just like the old days.

 

It was finally time to take advantage of that, just like they used to.

 

The morning was already hot and musky, but when their kisses began to intensify, the air coming through the opened window seemed to amplify by ten degrees. Yuuji could feel a difference in Kuroo’s lips, but that same sweetness in every pucker still remained, and so, he did what he always did when that cherishing feeling consumed him—he rolled himself on top of Tetsurou, pushing into the kiss as much as possible, and ground his groin against the other’s, searing their bodies together like pieces of a puzzle.

“Yuuji,” Kuroo pleaded breathlessly. The relief in his voice was evident.

“Love you,” Terushima replied against his lips, obscenely flicking his tongue out. “Love you, Tetsurou…”

A few more tears escaped both their eyes, hearts still clenching painfully over the entire situation, but they continued on, groaning into each other’s mouths as the layers of damp clothing began disappearing. Kuroo had almost forgotten about Yuuji’s tongue ring until seconds before that watering mouth clamped down on his neck, kissing and sucking and biting in relentless combinations, giving him little piece of mind to return the favor. Terushima took his time, tears sliding down his own neck as he re-explored his boyfriend’s body, not caring that it wasn’t as toned as it was two-years ago—Kuroo had gone through so many terrible things since then, and Yuuji was just thrilled that he was alive. This was no time for petty observations.

Toned or untoned, Tetsurou was still the most handsome man alive to Terushima.

“ _Missed you_ ,” Kuroo groaned out, pulling Yuuji to his chest after their shirts were taken off. The amount of heat in the air was almost enough to suffocate them. “Ah…”

Every inch of their skin burned on contact, but they didn’t stop; the blonde let his hands roam Kuroo’s broad back, trying to focus on that sensation along with the sensation of Kuroo’s large hands reaching into his jeans and gently cupping the bottom of his ass before squeezing, shoving him forward to create more friction between their hard cocks; even though Tetsurou had this all planned-out for the past two-years, he just couldn’t get enough of what it felt like to run his fingers over Terushima’s thin, agile body again.

Kuroo wanted to bawl when Yuuji separated their embrace, crawling down to yank both his and his boyfriend’s pants off so they could get down to business; Terushima let out his own whimper when he saw someone’s member for the first time in _two-years_ , and quickly thought back to when he and Kuroo lost their virginities to each other.

 

In a way, they were losing them again on this humid, sunny morning in Thailand.

 

“ _Ah_!”

The basketball star thought he was on the road to losing his mind again when Yuuji’s lips slunk around the tip of his oozing cock; already, he could tell that this wasn’t going to last long, no matter how much they both wanted it to. After not being with a single person in over two-years, and now being thrown into a situation where they were _finally_ with the _only_ person they ever wanted to have sex with…yeah. They probably wouldn’t last very long.

And besides—Yuuji had a _tongue ring_.

Only allowing Terushima to lube him up for a minute or two, Tetsurou tugged him upwards and forced their lips together again, never able to taste enough of each other.

“I love you,” Kuroo moaned, angling his head to kiss and suck on Yuuji’s thin throat. “Love you, Yuuji…”

“Te—Tetsurou!”

 _Fuck_. That voice was going to be the death of Kuroo.

Wanting more and more, he practically ripped Terushima’s briefs off with one tug, hurriedly sliding an admiring touch down his slim leg before laying the blonde down and lovingly nibbling on his thighs; since they weren’t about to find lube out in the middle of nowhere, Tetsurou leaned down and without any warning or preparation, began eating Yuuji out.

A mixture of lust and consuming love overwhelmed Kuroo’s head when he was rewarded with the heavenly sound of Terushima crying and moaning his name, fresh tears springing to those playful gold eyes as his body writhed on the sheets, body practically burning-up with the Thailand heat. To make his skin really light aflame, the black-haired man put a hand on Yuuji’s member, only stimulating it enough where the head was burning and weeping for more attention.

“ _Enough_!” The blonde cried desperately, voice cracking further. “Ah—”

Panting, Kuroo cut his plea off with a slobbery kiss, switching their positions so that Terushima’s almost-limp body was facing away, stomach to the cool sheets, knees trembling from exertion; he couldn’t find words to describe what he needed or what he wanted, so he just kept repeating the same thing over and over again.

“Love you… _ah_ — _love you, Yuuji_ …”

Terushima wasn’t sure what was making him cry anymore, but he needed Kuroo, and he needed him now.

“Tetsurou… _please_ …I love you, _please_ …please…”

 

The gardener moaned at the desperation laced in his airy voice, and without preamble, he grabbed onto Yuuji’s narrow, beautiful hips, and slid inside him.

 

Terushima and Kuroo both released stammered wails that boomed through the hut; the blonde’s grip on the bedpost tightened to a white-knuckled level, and his right hand whipped backwards to grab onto Tetsurou’s wrist for dear life. Kuroo himself thought he blacked-out from how enchanting and seductive Yuuji’s cry of passion had been, and once he recovered from the initial shock of everything, hips jerking and twitching, begging to be moved, he practically collapsed over top of his boyfriend, abs clenching and quivering with stress.

“Your—your voice!” Tetsurou whined, huffing out labored breaths as an unbelievable amount of pleasure coursed through his groin. “L-Let me…hear yo- _ur voice_ … _ah_!”

“K-Kuroo!!!” Terushima shouted. “ _Please_!”

The basketball star was already obeying by the time Yuuji finished.

 

The jungle was loud outside, roaring with woodwind noises and the cluttering of branches, as if a pack of wolves were shaking the Earth beneath their feet as they headed towards the hut. Truthfully, Yuuji had gone searching for someone to fuck and run with, but every time his lips touched another's...it made him sick. After a few unsuccessful attempts, Terushima realized he wasn't looking for someone to have sex with;

He was looking for love in strangers.

Kuroo got as close to Yuuji’s mouth as humanly possible, sweating and keening from the beautiful whines leaving his lover’s lips; he moved enough where he was now fully seated inside Terushima, who sobbed from the full sensation, forgetting what it was like to be so connected with someone, to feel them in the pit of your stomach.

“Mis- _missed_ you—" Terushima gasped. "Tet...Tetsurou!”

Kuroo groaned loudly, sounding close to tears as Yuuji turned his head to lock their lips together again; despite the exotic position they were in, there was only one way Terushima wanted to end this; he wanted to see the love of his life’s face when he was brought to climax, when they finally managed to be as close as they once were after so many lost days…

Decision made, the smaller male reluctantly leaned forward, causing Kuroo to slip out of his entrance.

“ _Yuuji_ ,” Tetsurou moaned, tears slipping from his eyes. “Please…”

“Lay down—I’ll...I'll finish...”

 

Once Kuroo composed himself enough to lay on his back, Terushima straddled him again, listening to both their astounded gasps as he sunk back down on his boyfriend’s cock, only allowing himself a moment to whimper in amazement before lewdly riding his boyfriend, rocking his hips up and down.

When the pace increased, all the sounds each had been wanting to make came alive, escaping from their throats without asking for consent, releasing wails, groans, incoherent words that only made sense to the lovers themselves. Tetsurou never released his grip on Yuuji’s waist for even a split-second, keeping him closer than ever before, scrambling to hold on just a little bit longer, just in case this was a dream…

“ _KUROO_!” Terushima cried. His eyes were struggling to stay open, and his hips losing their rhythm as he desperately moved his hips back and forth, up and down, feeling his insides spasm with how deep Tetsurou was inside him. “Gon—gonna—”

Kuroo blinked the blurry tears from his vision, wanting to see every little detail. Feeling heat grow in his stomach and rapidly move down towards his cock in an instant, he took one hand and wrapped it around his boyfriend’s member—another shout erupted from the blonde’s mouth.

“AH! _Ah_!!”

Terushima clamped down, making the area just the _slightest_ bit tighter, enough to light the fire in Kuroo’s extremity; he came with a loud cry of his lover’s name, hips freezing in place, then jolting in an absolute frenzy, ramming into the blonde further and faster.

“ _Yuuji_!!!”

Following a choked gasp, Terushima came with Tetsurou’s trembling hand hovering on the top of his cock, his loud whines blasting through the sound-barrier as his upper-body gave-out from ecstasy, twitching and spasming out of control. Kuroo’s hips continued to jolt upwards, milking the sensation for all it was worth, waves of pleasure he couldn’t find with anyone else soaring through his groin. Yuuji whimpered and whimpered, voice catching every time another white spurt shot from his cock and leaking onto Kuroo's abs. Their pants and shaky moans filled the hut with welcomed noise as the original burst of excitement began to fade, bodies still reeling and experiencing little aftershocks as they replayed the scene in their minds over and over again: Tetsurou fell in love with the way Yuuji’s mouth hung open during his orgasm, the way his tongue lolled-out to the side, and in return, Terushima admired and adored the way Kuroo’s entire body tensed-up with each wave of desire, the way his hair revealed part of his sweaty forehead…

 

It was too much, and just enough for the voids in both the young men’s hearts to fill a little bit fuller.

 

Hardly forty-seconds after, they both began to weep.

 

Terushima and Kuroo didn’t go to sleep. They didn’t go another round, or talk about how amazing it felt to be together like that again. Once their tears dried, they settled onto the bed beside each other comfortably, heat overwhelming them in the best way possible as the world finally settled down; Tetsurou didn’t close his eyes for even a moment, choosing to hold Yuuji as close as possible, staring into his almond-colored eyes like his life depended on it. Terushima ran his hand up and down Kuroo’s arm, intertwining his legs between and over the other’s, keeping both rooted in the moment; Thailand was quiet outside now, allowing their frequent whispers time to be heard. They whispered the same thing every few minutes, as if they could never say it enough.

“I love you,” Tetsurou would say, followed by a kiss.

“I love you too,” Terushima would reply softly.

Two-minutes later, the conversation would start again.

“I missed you,” Yuuji whimpered, clinging tighter.

Kuroo would release a deep sigh, like those simple words would keep him content forever.

An hour felt like an entire day, the morning sun coming to a full rise, signaling that the rest of the world was waking-up to witness the beautiful reconciliation of Tetsurou and his lover Terushima; Mae was roaming the jungle outside, chasing birds and insects, unaware of her owner’s new identity. Yuuji couldn’t help but smile at all the moments he remembered like this, although he was sure their time together now wasn’t something they could ever compare to anything ever again—

Terushima brushed the black bangs off his boyfriend’s forehead, hearing him hum in response.

“All these changes you went through, and yet…you still didn’t fix the hair.”

Tetsurou smiled that beautiful smile of his and laughed lowly, air puffing through his nose as he snuggled closer, eyes zoned-in on the tiniest details of Yuuji’s temple, laying his lips on that soft skin he had yearned for every single night. Neither thought about where they went wrong. They didn’t think about the torture, the two-years thousands of miles away, the gossip amongst their friends and family…that terrible, heartbreaking night didn’t occur to them…they were still too heavily in love with each other to really care about anything besides each other.

 

God, did they love each other.

 

“By the way...” Kuroo mumbled softly onto the shell of Terushima’s ear. “How did you find me all the way out here?”

“Did you know your sister is easily tricked?”

Tetsurou huffed again, his smile spreading to the other’s.

“Yeah...” He answered. “…But I’m glad she is.”

 

Yuuji turned his head to lay a gentle, soothing kiss onto Kuroo’s rough lips; the act made them softer, and Tetsurou slid his hand down to slip his fingers through Terushima’s.

 

“Me too.”

_I've been running through the jungle_

_I've been crying with the wolves_

_To get to you, to get to you…_

_To get to you_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, kids! Kudos, comments and especially bookmarks much appreciated :) (but I do know how awkward commenting can be sometimes, so don't fret if you can't come up with anything intelligent to say. my comments don't come near what great fics make me feel, so it's all good!)  
> This only took 28 hours of stress to write while taking care of two needy dogs, so i'm gunna go throw-up now
> 
> Song is Wolves by Selena G, my old disney homegirl who I haven't listened to since then until now


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